it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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