Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
