She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
