white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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