Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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