I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
