I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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