If i come over, it means nothing
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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