i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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