We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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