Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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