I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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