I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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