I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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