he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
