TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
