How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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