just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
