very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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