shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
