i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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