He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
