i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I love you. Go after that dick
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
