make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
