More tranny stories later!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
