i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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