You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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