this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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