Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Pooping to opera.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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