i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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