I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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