Buhtt sex?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
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he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
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I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize