Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Life is so much better after having sex.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize