Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
