Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
