he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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