They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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