Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
