and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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