Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
