It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
