she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
