Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
