We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize