you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize