just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
