i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
