question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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