the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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