He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
