We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
