I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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