i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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