i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
