I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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